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Daily Dose of Reason -
Psychology & Self-Improvement
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Written by Michael J. Hurd, Ph.D.
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Wednesday, 26 October 2011 00:00 |
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Dear Dr. Hurd, I am a gay man. My partner of two years and I got married in Massachusetts after being together for about a year. I thought everything was perfect, but things have changed. He criticizes everything I do. I buy him flowers, and he berates me because they aren’t perfect.
Nothing I do is up to his “standards.” When things are going well, it’s all about “us.” When things go sour, it’s all
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Read more... [Walking on Eggshells and Marriage Do NOT Mix]
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Daily Dose of Reason -
Psychology & Self-Improvement
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Written by Michael J. Hurd, Ph.D.
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Saturday, 22 October 2011 00:00 |
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The notorious and documented failures of drug and alcohol rehab (made even more public by Hollywood’s perpetually neurotic glitterati) can be attributed to a single, primary factor: The addict only addresses the symptoms—the act of abusing alcohol or drugs. However, the underlying cause is the individual’s whole way of approaching life—emotionally, behaviorally, morally.
The only people I have encountered with sustained recoveries are people who quite literally
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Read more... [The Empty Promise of "Rehab]
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Daily Dose of Reason -
Psychology & Self-Improvement
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Written by Michael J. Hurd, Ph.D.
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Sunday, 09 October 2011 00:00 |
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Conclusion of Friday's column.
I don’t mean to imply that entitlement is always wrong. Let’s say you buy a new computer. You get home, carefully read the instructions, and the computer doesn’t work, so you take the computer back to the store. The clerk attempts to start the computer and agrees it does not work. You are fully entitled to either a full refund or a computer that works. If the clerk said to you, “Well, how about this? I’ll meet you halfway. We’ll give you the less expensive model.” Of course you’d be upset, because in this particular case you actually are entitled to the whole thing. In the case of poor Lizzie, since her brother believes he’s entitled to the whole estate, there’s no reasoning with him.
This is why it’s dangerous to meet people halfway, or attempt to appease them when it’s not called for. This is why reasoning with people—including rational, mutually agreed upon compromises—sometimes just doesn’t work. It’s not that reason itself is flawed; it’s just that people are not always open to it. Some people are closed
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Read more... [Does it Pay to Appease? (Part 2 of 2)]
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Daily Dose of Reason -
Psychology & Self-Improvement
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Written by Michael J. Hurd, Ph.D.
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Friday, 07 October 2011 00:00 |
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When dealing with other people, the reasonable, sensitive, and even self-interested thing to do is compromise, and be prepared to meet the other person halfway.
Correct?
Well, not really.
All action needs to be purposeful. That includes the action of compromising with another person. And two things must be absolutely true before you take that action. First,
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Read more... [Does it Pay to Appease? (Part 1 of 2)]
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Daily Dose of Reason -
Psychology & Self-Improvement
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Written by Michael J. Hurd, Ph.D.
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Saturday, 01 October 2011 00:00 |
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According to Dr. Walter Kaye, professor of psychiatry at the University of Pittsburgh, anorexics use starvation as a mode of self-medication. How? Starvation prevents tryptophane, an essential amino acid that produces serotonin, from getting into the brain. By eating less, anorexics reduce the serotonin activity in their brains, says Kaye, “creating a sense of calm,” even as they are dying of malnutrition.
This is a fascinating finding. But it doesn’t prove that anorexia is caused by genetic factors. All it suggests is that once a person goes down the road of self-starvation, physiological factors can create an unwarranted sense of calm and serenity in what is actually a dangerous, life-threatening situation.
Historically, in the field of psychology, anorexia was thought to be
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Read more... [Anorexia: Causes and Cures]
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