In a romantic relationship, one cannot demand change of the other partner as an entitlement. It’s always OK to request change. Request is not the same as demand. Demand is when something “is due me as an entitlement.” None of us are entitled to anything, other than to be left alone, and to not be defrauded. This is one of the problems with marriage, as we have known it. People act, think and feel as if a ring on the finger makes the other his or her property. It does no such thing. If someone else lets you make him his property, he degrades both of you in the process. The minute someone consents to such a thing, no matter how subtle the process, the relationship is, to that extent, over. Remaining married won't change any of it.