Managing Temporary Conflict |
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| Daily Dose of Reason - Psychology & Self-Improvement | ||||
| Sunday, 06 July 2008 00:00 | ||||
If someone important to you—a spouse, for example—becomes defensive or
hostile, then she’s probably starting to lose touch with the facts. You
will do your relationship, the person with whom you’re in temporary
conflict, and even yourself no service by starting to place emotions
over reason. Whatever you do, don’t allow yourself to escalate simply
because it might feel good to do so. Think of a food fight in a high
school cafeteria.
It might feel good to the students at the time, especially if the fight
started over a small conflict between two students, but the mess is
still going to have to be cleaned up when the fight is over (by the
students themselves, on what would have been their recreational time,
if the school officials have any sense). Don’t engage in the equivalent
of a verbal and emotional food fight with your spouse or others
important to your life. It’s not mature and it doesn’t make rational
sense even from your own selfish point-of-view. Words said only in
emotion, and perhaps not really meant, at least in that exact emotional
context, have ways of coming back to haunt.
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If someone important to you—a spouse, for example—becomes defensive or
hostile, then she’s probably starting to lose touch with the facts. You
will do your relationship, the person with whom you’re in temporary
conflict, and even yourself no service by starting to place emotions
over reason. Whatever you do, don’t allow yourself to escalate simply
because it might feel good to do so. Think of a food fight in a high
school cafeteria.
It might feel good to the students at the time, especially if the fight
started over a small conflict between two students, but the mess is
still going to have to be cleaned up when the fight is over (by the
students themselves, on what would have been their recreational time,
if the school officials have any sense). Don’t engage in the equivalent
of a verbal and emotional food fight with your spouse or others
important to your life. It’s not mature and it doesn’t make rational
sense even from your own selfish point-of-view. Words said only in
emotion, and perhaps not really meant, at least in that exact emotional
context, have ways of coming back to haunt.
