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"I Want to Help You"

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Daily Dose of Reason - Psychology & Self-Improvement
Written by Michael J. Hurd, Ph.D.   
Saturday, 13 March 2010 00:00
helpWhen someone claims "I want to help you" or "I want to help him" what they often mean is: "I want to change you." Another version is "I want her to get help" which really means: "I want her to change." There are two problems with this. One, it's disingenuous and dishonest. Two, it disguises an impossibility inside a possibility. It disguises the falsehood that one can change another -- when in fact, one can only change oneself -- in the equally false cliche that "helping" is always virtuous and therefore always rational, no matter what.
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