A government which robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend on the support of Paul.

-- George Bernard Shaw

“Life’s not fair! I’m gettin’ a raw deal!” We hear it just about every day.

Life is neither fair nor unfair. Only people can be fair or unfair. 

A reporter from a local Delaware paper asked for my comments related to recent charges against a local high school teacher who had a sexual relationship with a 17 year old student.

Questions:

What do you think drives or creates such relationships--for both the student and the adult? Is there a common factor?

What kind of emotional intelligence/boundary training should be given to people working in schools? Should it vary depending on their job within the school?

I don't think it's something that can be intellectually taught. A teacher would not do something like this because he or she is honestly ignorant of the fact that this is a bad idea for a lot of reasons. I maintain that people know what they’re doing, a lot more than we realize. A teacher not having sex with a student? Come on, it’s just common sense. No seminar is going to prevent this from happening. 

Q: Your ideas on psychology and self-help make sense. I know they are rational, but I don’t always feel them. My logic is rational, but my feelings are not. What am I supposed to do? Just ignore my feelings? What role can psychological counseling play, if any?

Dr. Hurd replies: This is what many people say to me (or themselves) when faced with an inner conflict. Think about what it means. In effect, you are saying: reality is no more important than my emotions. What I feel is just as important as what’s objectively true.